If you consider yourself heterosexual, try to remember the exact day you decided that you were going to be attracted to the opposite sex. Hard to do? That's because you probably never made a conscious decision - your attraction was "just there." Well, that is pretty much how gay and lesbian people feel about their orientation - it was just there.
Gay folks never decided to be gay because it would be fun to be discriminated against, fired from their jobs, or become victimized by hate crimes. Same sex attraction, just like opposite-sex attraction, is an "orientation," not a "lifestyle choice".
Another myth we have about being gay is that someone is or isn't gay. Sexual attraction is on a continuum between "fully heterosexual" on one end and "fully homosexual" on the other.
Another confusion has to do with masculinity and femininity. The myth is that feminine men have to be gay and masculine men have to be attracted to women. Wrong! Remember what the Village People had to say about macho, macho men.
Many of the myths about gay and lesbian people are simply born out of sexual illiteracy (a nice way to say ignorance) or religious dogma. Gay people are not out to recruit or turn heterosexuals gay. This myth is based on the misconception that sexual orientation is a "choice." What sense does that make? It would be like a heterosexual guy deciding that an out-of-the-closet lesbian will be his object of desire - it's self-defeating (unless you are masochistic).
Some people see same sex activity as doing something "unnatural." But there is documentation of same sex attraction and behavior in every species of animal studied in the wild. The most offensive myth about being gay is that they want to have sex with children. The vast majority of sex offenders in jail for sex with children are heterosexual men - whether their victims be boys or girls. Sex abuse is not about sex, but about power and control.
The bottom line for myths about gays and lesbians is that some people will cling to their beliefs and not modify their opinions despite any information offered. The thing to remember is that some people may always believe gay people are abnormal. However, an important distinction to make is that a person can choose to see gay folks as abnormal on a basis of religious training or personal values. They cannot choose to believe gay people are abnormal on a scientific basis, as the preponderance of empirical evidence does not support this notion.
Dr. Frederick Peterson is a clinical psychologist (in Dayton, Ohio) who specializes in sexual health and education. He provides services at the VA Medical Center, Grandview/Southview Hospitals and the Flexman Clinic.
(Impact Weekly 11-17 March 1999
1927 N. Main Street, Dayton, OH 45405
by way of Graham Underhill grahamu@rainbow.net.au)
